Fireside Conversations
by smidget
Summary: Teddy Lupin is beginning to doubt how wonderful his father really was. After an accident in Grimmauld Place sends him back 18 years will he have the chance to reconcile these doubts and get to know the man he had once admired? Time Travel.
1. House of Nightmares

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter One—House of Nightmares**

Teddy kicked one of the large, dusty trunks in the attic and immediately regretted it at the sharp throbbing in his toes. He sat down on said trunk and buried his face in his hands to keep from screaming in frustration that Harry _didn't understand_ and that he just wanted to be _left alone_.

For one thing, most of Teddy, the rational part, knew that Harry _did_ in fact understand, and for another, pouting that he simply wanted to be left alone was quite cliché for his fifteen years. Nonetheless he resolved to stay in the cramped, dusty attic of Grimmauld Place until everyone downstairs had time to forget about his shouting match with Harry.

It had been an unusually bad one. He and Harry rarely argued, but lately there seemed to be one subject they could not seem to agree on. As much as Harry insisted that Remus Lupin had been a wonderful mentor and father Teddy was having trouble reconciling this image from an uglier one that had recently come to light.

Before Teddy had left for Hogwarts for his first year he had heard countless stories from Gran and Harry, and all the Weasleys about how _wonderful_ his parents were, how _heroic_ the were, how much he reminded everyone of them. And Teddy had always loved those stories, his face beaming with pride when he heard that he looked like his mother but had his father's smile and kind eyes. But as his years at Hogwarts progressed Teddy learned more about the "truth" of the war against Voldemort and the more he heard about the Battle of Hogwarts the more he realized that his parents need not have been there at all. He was hardly even alive when they had rushed off to battle where they met their insignificant deaths and left him an orphan.

Every time Teddy had this thought he felt a surge of guilt, but he quickly pushed it aside to make room for the anger that bubbled up with it. Teddy felt thoroughly _abandoned_, and when he had let this slip to Harry, they had had an awful row.

Now he felt guilt creeping into his gut again but his anger had subsided and he knew that he had said some things that he did not _really _mean. He had been frustrated and both he and his godfather had said things that they were now beginning to regret. Teddy sighed and tried to push these thoughts from his mind.

In an attempt to distract himself Teddy took to observing his surroundings. While really quite large the attic was stuffed with so many miscellaneous objects that there was hardly room for Teddy to have pulled back his leg and kicked the trunk at all. There were more old trunks, broken cabinets, a large grandfather clock that no longer worked, and boxes of baby things that James, Al, and Lily no longer used. When Teddy was much younger he and Uncle Harry had gone on adventure "treasure hunts" into the attic that always ended with defeating some sort of evil pirates or dark wizards and saving the day. Now, it just looked like a bunch of _junk_, but that might have been his mood.

Teddy had spent most of the Christmas holiday in a dour mood, sulking about the place and getting dark looks from Harry and Aunt Ginny. He was cheerful enough on Christmas day. Gran had come and he had had a snowball fight out in the square with the Potter children. But ever since the end of term, Teddy had been weighed down by thoughts of his parents and could not bring himself to enjoy the break from school with any sort of gusto. His latest argument with his godfather was just the icing on the cake.

Not yet ready to return downstairs, Teddy got up from the trunk, brushed his turquoise hair out of his face and began to poke around at some of the more interesting objects in the room. Both Uncle Harry's and Aunt Ginny's old school trunks were up here and behind them was a more interesting looking one that appeared to be much older, or at least in much worse condition. Teddy dragged Harry's trunk out of the way, coughing at the dust that it kicked up from the floor along the way, and then turned Ginny's trunk to the side.

The old piece of luggage was coated in dust and Teddy swiped away the front of it with his hand before wiping it on his jeans. The trunk opened out from the front and small faded letters on the right hand side door read _R. J. Lupin_.

Teddy stared at the name for a moment, shocked that he had never come across this item before nor heard about it from Harry. Perhaps it had simply gotten lost in the shuffle of other old and dusty objects in the attic, but Teddy felt as though it had been waiting for him. With a trembling hand Teddy reached for the latch in the middle of the trunk and pulled, but it would not budge. He looked for some sort of keyhole, but there was none. Perhaps it was merely stuck? But no matter how hard Teddy pulled at the latch, it remained stubbornly shut.

Teddy's initial excitement was quickly fading. Most likely there wasn't even anything inside, just an empty, broken piece of luggage that had been forgotten in recesses of Grimmauld Place's attic. He sighed and stared at the old trunk in front of him. He was not short on items that had belonged to his parents. Everything they had owned had been recovered after the war and divided between Harry, Gran, and what they were saving for Teddy. Books, photos, a few treasured items from his mother and father, most of them were now in Teddy's possession. But his favorite item was perhaps the Marauder's Map, which he knew was not his to keep but he treasured nonetheless. When he left Hogwarts it would go to James, but for now it was his.

A sudden idea struck Teddy at the thought of the map and he pulled out his wand. Conscious that he was not allowed to do magic away from Hogwarts but not particularly in the mood to follow the rules, Teddy tapped his wand against the stubborn latch and muttered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Instantly, the latch flew open and Teddy had to jump back as the doors of the trunk swung open towards him. Drawers, compartments, hangers, books, old quills, it all looked like old junk but Teddy felt as though he had discovered buried treasure. He ran a hand through his hair and stared wide-eyed at the plethora of random items that filled the trunk. For a moment he merely looked at it, but then he began to truly inspect the contents.

Teddy found a drawer full or half-used inkbottles, a pile of used but discarded parchment with the beginnings of scratched out letters that Teddy could not make out. In a small little drawer on the right hand side Teddy pulled out a stained letter addressed to "Professor Lupin." It was old and faded, and covered in some sort of grainy substance. He could only make out bits and pieces of it.

_Professor Lupin,_

_I have - - - - - - - - - - - - -ofessor McGonagall but cannot- - - - - - - - - her - - - -office is locked. I need to return this- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -end of the day and I don't want to leave it lying around, so- - - - - - __-you could deliver it- - - - - - - - - - - - -ought it would be safest here and I trust you to take care to- - - - - McGonagall at your earli- - - - - - _

_Than- - - - - _

_Hermione Granger_

Teddy could make little sense of the content of the letter but deduced that it must have been from the year that his father taught at Hogwarts. He put the letter in his pocket and made a mental note to ask Aunt Hermione about it when he next saw her. He peered into the little drawer to see if there were other letters, but all that was in there was some broken glass, a golden chain, and a shimmering sort of sand. Curious, Teddy reached out a hand to touch it. At the touch of his finger, the sand seemed to sparkle and he took a large pinch of it to further inspect.

It slipped through his fingers like water, but more slowly. When Teddy went to brush it off of his jeans, it clouded in the air like dust, much lighter than actual sand, and like dust when it made it to Teddy's face he began to cough and sputter. From all the coughing, more of the shimmering substance was clouding in the air and Teddy began to feel lightheaded. He pushed himself away from the trunk and kicked it shut with his feet and one final cloud of shimmering sand rose into the air when the doors swung closed.

Teddy swatted at the air with one hand and covered his coughing mouth with the other, his head feeling light and dizzy. He tried to stand, but the room around him began to spin and grow hazy and he stumbled backwards, into the old grandfather clock, knocking it to the ground with a tremendous bang. Spinning wildly at the sound and thoroughly disoriented, Teddy tripped on the fallen clock and watched as his vision darkened before he even hit the floor.

* * *

><p>When Teddy awoke he was entirely disoriented. He lay still for a full minute before it came to him that he was on the floor in the attic at Grimmauld Place. He stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes trying to compose himself and then began to pull himself to his feet.<p>

Glancing down at his clothes Teddy saw that his jeans and shirt were covered with the same dusty sand that had given him a coughing fit. He turned around to see the damage that the grandfather clock had caused when he accidentally knocked it over but the clock was nowhere to be seen.

_Odd_, thought Teddy. He had bumped into it just moments ago. But his head had been so fuzzy… he had been lightheaded and tripped and then he blacked out. Teddy supposed he couldn't really say how long he had been unconscious but if it had been any significant stretch of time he felt certain that Harry would have come looking for him, despite their earlier argument.

With a heavy sigh, Teddy pressed his palms against his eyes and tried to ignore his growing headache. He was tired, frustrated, and ready to leave the dusty attic to get some fresh air. He removed his hands from his face, patted his pocket to make sure his wand was there, and was turning towards the stairs when he realized that something was not quite right.

A quick survey of the room revealed that, for some reason or another in the short span of time that Teddy had been unconscious on the floor the attic had become, if possible, even dustier and grimier than before. His father's trunk that he had been inspecting was nowhere to be seen, nor were Harry's or Ginny's. There were no neatly packed boxes of baby things and there was no (Teddy glanced behind to check again) broken grandfather clock.

There were a number of boxes full of objects that Teddy did not recognize, and as he peered curiously into one by his feet he noticed that quite a few of the items inside appeared distinctly _dark_. Almost everything had some sort of serpent engraving or sculpture and the Black family crest was embossed on most of the contents.

A trunk in the corner caught Teddy's eye and he carefully made his way over to inspect it. He hoped to find _HJP_ or _GMW_ on the side of it for some sense of familiarity, but instead he found the more ornate object to bear the initials _RAB_, which he did not recognize. Now starting to feel a little panicked, Teddy anxiously ran a hand through his hair and let it fade back to its normal honey brown shade. He walked as briskly as he could in the crowded space and flung open to the door that led to the stairs. Taking them two at a time, Teddy landed in the hallway below and staggered backwards at what he saw.

He fell into a sitting position on the stairs behind him and sat gaping at the sight that greeted him. There was no doubt that this was Grimmauld Place, but Teddy felt as though he had wandered into some sort of nightmare version of it.

The layout of the hallway before him was exactly as he remembered it, but nothing else was. It looked destitute and abandoned. Rather than the bright, cheerful lamps that Harry had installed there were old-fashioned candelabras that lined the walls filling the space with a dim, dreary light and cast dark, thick shadows on the carpet and the walls. None of the family photos that Teddy knew lined the walls; rather they were bare and dirty.

_I'm dreaming_, Teddy told himself frantically_, I'm still unconscious in the attic and I'm dreaming_.

Quickly, Teddy pinched himself on the arm and gasped as it immediately stung. He pulled his feet up onto the stair beneath him and rested his forehead on his knees, his hands on either side of his face. Teddy sat that way for some time, hoping that at any moment he would wake up in the attic and everything would be back to the way it was supposed to be. But when that did not happen, Teddy resigned himself to at least see what the rest of the house looked like and perhaps gather some clues as to how it had changed so quickly.

Trying to ignore the unnatural quiet that lingered in the house, Teddy made his way down to the end of the hall to the room he knew to be a guest room that was never used. No one ever went in there and Teddy hoped that this, at least, would be a familiar sight for him. He grasped the doorknob firmly, turned it, and slowly pushed the door inward. Peeking around the edge of the opening Teddy suddenly let out a strangled yell and slammed door shut before taking several quick steps backward.

"A hippogriff?" he whispered to himself. His voice sounded strangled and hoarse, but loud in the oppressive silence of the house.

Said hippogriff had, thankfully, been sleeping soundly when Teddy had seen it, but not taking any chances that it would wake up, break down the door and come to finish him off Teddy set off for the stairs and continued down to the next level. He stopped halfway down at the most disturbing sight he had ever laid eyes on.

Lining the stairwell were a number of house-elf heads, all severed neatly and put on display. Teddy felt simultaneously panicked and sick to his stomach and he hurried down the rest of the stairs simply to put distance between himself and the terrible visage.

At the bottom of the stairs Teddy collapsed into the corner and buried his face in his hands. "A nightmare, I've wandered into a terrible nightmare and I'll wake up any second. Wake up, Teddy, come on, wake up!"

There was a noise from somewhere below in the house that roused Teddy from his frantic mumbling and he froze, listening. He could just make out the sound of clinking glass and did not know if he should feel hopeful or wary that there was someone else in this decrepit excuse for a house. He sat very still and continued to listen but did not hear the sound again and determined that it was safe at least to stand up.

Carefully, Teddy pulled his wand from his pocket and slowly began to make his way down yet more stairs. He took care not to look too carefully at anything on the walls for fear that he would have another disturbing experience like that with the house-elves. Keeping his wand in front of him, Teddy paused on the stairs that led down to the kitchen when he heard a soft thud. He waited and then heard more clinking glass. There was definitely someone in there.

Taking the last few steps as quietly as he could, Teddy pushed open the door to the kitchen and saw, in the dim, gloomy light, the back of a man seated at a large wooden table. Instantly Teddy caught a whiff of firewhiskey and spied a large glass bottle of the substance on the table. He stood frozen in the doorway, unsure of whether the man in front of him was aware of his presence.

The stranger had long, dark hair, a thin frame, and, Teddy suspected, something of a drinking problem if he was indulging alone in the middle of the day. Though in this sort of house Teddy could scarcely blame him. Grimmauld Place had never seemed less cheerful than it did at that very moment.

Unsure of what to do Teddy continued to stand in the doorway, his wand still in his hand but at his side. He wondered if perhaps he should _leave_, go back home to his grandmother's house. He hoped that this was all a dream. As he stood there, full or uncertainty, the man on the bench in front of him began to turn around.

Teddy was frozen in place. As the mysterious figure before him turned around to face him, Teddy felt fear creeping up into his chest. He did not recognize the man in front of him, though there was something very familiar about him. He had what must have once been a handsome face that now had a haunted, hollowed look to it. He looked surprised to see Teddy standing there though he did not rise from his seat.

For a moment the two simply stared at each other and then the other man spoke, his voice rough from the firewhiskey.

"Who the hell are you?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN. Chapter one of a planned five. I would really appreciate your thoughts.<strong>


	2. Eighteen Years

**Chapter Two—Eighteen Years**

Teddy merely gaped at the frightening man in front of him, lost for words. And suddenly, there was a wand in his face.

For someone who looked so frail and hollow the other man moved amazingly quickly. Clearly, he had well-defined reflexes and Teddy was feeling very unfortunate to be on the receiving end of them. He stared at the wand that was aimed expertly between his eyes and did not even consider raising his own. He would be hexed before he could even think _protego_.

"Who are you, and what the hell are you doing here?" The man demanded of Teddy and again he caught the distinct scent of firewhiskey. "And you had better answer quick because I'm not feeling particularly patient today."

Teddy felt a lump form in his throat and frantically tried to form coherent words. "I—I… this _is_ number twelve, Grimmauld Place, isn't it?"

For a moment Teddy could have sworn he saw surprise in the frightening man's expression. But then it was gone, a stony mask back in place that made the man all the more intimidating. "How do you know that?" he asked. "You can't possibly know that."

"I—it's my godfather's house," Teddy began, a little defensively, "though it doesn't look—"

Before he could finish that thought he was cut off by a bark-like laugh that cut through the oppressive quiet of the house. He started in surprise at the noise. And although it had come from the man standing in front of him there was no humor in his expression.

"I'm only one person's godfather," he said quietly, "and it certainly isn't _you_."

Teddy's mind was suddenly very full of some very confusing thoughts. It seemed that with a threatening wand aimed directly at him his brain was not functioning quite as quickly as it could be and processing this particular bit of information was more difficult that usual. A number of questions occurred to Teddy but he settled for, "This is _your_ house?"

Another laugh came from the other man, this one quieter and with no more humor than the first. Teddy was beginning to think that maybe he was a bit mad. "Unfortunately," was all the man said.

"And this _is_ number twelve, Grimmauld Place?"

Teddy watched a dark eyebrow rise. "You're quick." Teddy thought he might have heard sarcasm in the remark, but could not be sure. With each passing second the man before him appeared no less frightening but Teddy had yet to be cursed and this calmed him, if only slightly.

"Then I'm confused," he said, rather bravely he felt considering the wand aimed at him. "Because last I checked this house didn't look like someone's nightmare."

The other man's face darkened considerably at that comment. "Have you seen it lately?" he asked with a grim smile.

There was silence again and Teddy ran his thumb nervously up and down his wand, unsure of what to do. He thought that perhaps this man really was crazy, but that did not account for the strange and frightening appearance of the house. He also thought there was something familiar in the stranger's face, as if Teddy had seen him a long time ago and forgotten about it. But he could not place it and so put it from his mind. He wanted to leave, to find his grandmother and figure out what was going on here. He wondered if something had happened to Harry or the rest of the Potter family and felt a slight pang in his gut at the thought of his recent argument with his godfather.

Teddy began to take a step backwards but the harsh voice of the man in front of him stopped him short. "Don't move an inch," he said with no room for argument.

"I'll—I'll just go," Teddy suggested. Surely there would be no problem with him leaving? He backed up onto the bottom stair behind him but the man's wand was still trained on him.

"You're not going anywhere," he said.

Teddy swallowed hard and gripped his wand more tightly. "Look, I must be lost. I'll leave, I—"

But Teddy never finished that thought. He briefly registered a lot of red light in his face and then he was unconscious again.

* * *

><p>For the second time in less than twenty-four hours Teddy awoke to unfamiliar and disorienting surroundings. However, while he woke the first time to an all encompassing silence this time he woke to the sound of voices, one of them familiar and one of them distinctly not.<p>

The familiar voice was far from comforting though as it definitely belonged to the man Teddy had encountered in the kitchen previously. The one who had, apparently, stunned him. And who, Teddy noted as he tried and failed to move into a sitting position, effectively restrained him.

Real panic was slowly beginning to dawn on Teddy as he lie on what appeared to be a very old, very dusty couch in the still depressingly sour Grimmauld Place. One glance at his person informed him that he had been bound by ropes, probably conjured by the haunted-looking man. He was in a room that he almost did not recognize but soon distinguished to be the sitting room. Or, what used to be the sitting room. For it looked nothing like the room Teddy remembered. Like the rest of the transformed house, this room looked like something Teddy would only find in his darkest dreams.

When struggling against his bindings proved a fruitless effort Teddy strained to hear what the voices in the next room were saying. They were faint but he could just make out most of it.

"…must confess I've no idea how he could have entered the house without my knowledge." That was the unfamiliar voice. It was male, and he sounded distinctly older but there was something very impressive about it.

"The Fidelius Charm isn't foolproof, Dumbledore, you know that…"

_Dumbledore_, Teddy thought frantically. _Surely not…_

"I'm afraid, Sirius that I am at a loss. Perhaps speaking with the boy will shed some due light on the subject."

…_Sirius?_ And then Teddy remembered, _I'm only one person's godfather. And it certainly isn't you_.

Teddy had heard stories about Sirius Black countless times in his fifteen years, stories about the Marauders, about his father, Harry's father, and _Harry's godfather_. But both of the men in the next room… they were _dead_. Teddy instantly knew that he must have gone mad, that this was some sort of crazy hallucination. Surely there were not two dead people having a conversation right outside the door. Struggling again against the ropes binding him Teddy felt suddenly frantic. He wanted to _wake up_, to get out of Grimmauld Place, to go back to sanity and the Christmas holidays and stupid fights with Harry.

And as Teddy's struggles started to become painful, the rough ropes rubbing into the exposed skin of his arms, he heard the door open and instantly became still. He stared, wide-eyed, as a man entered, a near replica of his portrait at Hogwarts, who looked exactly as Teddy had always imagined Albus Dumbledore would look.

The other man followed the Dumbledore look-a-like into the room and Teddy had to admit that he now knew why this man had looked familiar. He had seen numerous pictures of Sirius Black, but in his youth, before Azkaban had changed him. And if he looked closely, Teddy could see the resemblance. This did nothing to calm his already frazzled nerves.

"Good evening," greeted the would-be Dumbledore. "I don't believe we have had the pleasure of meeting."

Teddy could think of nothing to say to such a polite greeting and so settled with, "I would get up, but…" and glanced down at the ropes binding him.

"Ah, yes. Quite unnecessary now I think."

With a flick of his wand that Teddy had not even seen him draw the ropes vanished and Teddy was free to sit up. He did so, slowly, and his hand went to his pocket. His wand was not there but he would have been greatly surprised if it had been.

"I'm afraid we'll be keeping your wand until we figure out a few things," Dumbledore told him frankly. "It would be customary to begin with introductions. I am Albus Dumbledore. You have already encountered my colleague, Mr. Black."

Teddy merely stared at him, lost for words and thinking that he would rather still be unconscious than having this conversation with two men he knew to be dead.

"It is only polite that you now introduce yourself," Dumbledore said, not with hostility but with a hint of something else in his tone that Teddy could not quite place.

"I'm sorry," Teddy began quietly. "You say you're _Albus Dumbledore_?"

Dumbledore nodded his head and Teddy sighed. "Then I must be going mad. Or this is some sort of… nightmare that I can't seem to wake up from."

"And why do you say that?" inquired Dumbledore.

Teddy hesitated only momentarily. "Because Albus Dumbledore is… well, he's dead."

Sirius Black, who had leaned against the wall with his arms crossed for the entirety of the conversation so far now took a step forward, wand in hand, but Dumbledore waved him back.

"Not yet," he said calmly in response to Teddy's statement, but Teddy was shaking his head.

"I'm quite certain," he insisted.

Dumbledore's eyebrows rose. "As am I. I am sitting here after all. When did you hear such a thing?"

Teddy furrowed his brow at the question. "Hear it? He's been dead since before I was born. Back in nineteen ninety seven…."

As he said this Dumbledore and Sirius Black exchanged a look of surprise and Teddy got the impression that he was no longer the only person in the room who believed that he had gone mad.

"And what year do you believe it to be?" Dumbledore asked him quietly. And this question suddenly made quite a few things click in Teddy's mind. The state of the house, the presence of these men who had both died before Teddy had even been born… perhaps he _had not been born yet_.

"I-," he started, but was unable to continue. _2014_, he told himself, _it's 2014, it's 2014_. But he stared into Albus Dumbledore's piercing blue eyes and could not bring himself to say this with any confidence. "I thought… it's twenty fourteen. Last I checked…" he trailed off and looked worriedly between the two men across from him. "Isn't it?"

"Decidedly _not_," said Sirius Black. "You're only about eighteen years off."

* * *

><p>The next hour and a half was one of the strangest in Teddy's life to date. He proceeded to explain his encounter with the mysterious sand, though he left out the details of it being his <em>father's<em> trunk in which he had found it. He told the two men in front of him about passing out from the strange effect the substance had had on him and about waking up in a Grimmauld Place much different than the one he remembered. He did not give them any names but merely referred to the house as his godfather's and refrained from revealing his own name at all.

The powdery sand, which was still coating parts of Teddy's clothing, was examined by Dumbledore and revealed to be the contents of a _time turner_, which Teddy had never heard of but did not comment on. Dumbledore admitted that the sand itself was little understood and, as far as he was aware, might have caused Teddy to travel back in time when he had almost choked on it. And so it was tentatively agreed upon by the three of them that Teddy had indeed traveled through time landing himself in a Grimmauld Place much unlike the one he knew and therefore bypassing the Fidelius Charm that had been placed upon the house.

These were the facts that they all agreed on, the powder on Teddy's clothes and his very presence in the house as proof. What remained in dispute was _who_ each of them claimed to be. Teddy, understandably, had a hard time accepting that he was conversing with none other than Albus Dumbledore and Sirius Black, the two of them having died before he was born. The other two were deservedly suspicious as Teddy had yet to even tell them his name and he could, for all they knew, be a Death Eater, albeit one from the future.

"So if I really have traveled back in time," Teddy said into a brief silence that had settled over the room, "I could really mess things up. For my time, I mean. I shouldn't… tell you anything, right?"

"Don't think you're getting out of telling us who you are," Sirius put in instantly. "We still have no reason to trust you."

"And I do?" Teddy countered, remembering the threatening wand Sirius had aimed at him earlier. The older man had his arms crossed and he was currently tapping that same wand against his upper arm. Teddy eyed it warily and then looked back at Dumbledore.

"I don't want to mess things up," he insisted. "And I still can't be sure that _you_ are who you say you are. No offense," he added, because for some reason he felt as if he had been rude.

"Certainly," Dumbledore agreed. "I understand your concerns, but the fact that you are here in this house puts us in something of a compromising situation. We cannot simply let you leave and we cannot let you stay if we know nothing about you. Your name is all I ask. And I promise you it will remain between the three of us."

Teddy eyed the two men in front of him and knew that he was not simply going to walk out of this room unhindered. And if he were indeed in the past, he would have nowhere to go even if he _could_ leave. His best chance of returning to the present was, if all he had heard was true, Albus Dumbledore. Who, Teddy felt _fairly_ certain, was sitting right across from him.

"Teddy," he said quietly. "My name is Teddy Lupin."

Teddy had never experienced such a shocked reaction to merely uttering his name. The incredulous surprise on Sirius's face was almost comical. The silence that followed was brief and uncomfortable.

"Excuse me," Sirius said with no attempt to hide his disbelief. "You say you're Teddy _Lupin_?"

Teddy nodded and felt his cheeks flush slightly. He looked away from Sirius to Dumbledore and saw a calculating expression on the older man's face.

"I swear," he said quickly and earnestly, trying not to break eye contact with Headmaster. "I know I haven't—well I haven't been b-born yet but…." He trailed off, not really sure how to defend himself when he did not yet exist. The thought that he was back in a time before his parents had even been married was unsettling.

"And Remus Lupin is your father?" Dumbledore asked quietly, his gaze piercing. Teddy wondered if Dumbledore could somehow tell if he were telling the truth or not. Regardless, he felt it best not to lie.

"Yes," he said evenly. He shifted his weight on the couch, unable to get comfortable under the two scrutinizing stares. Sirius still leaned against the wall, tapping his wand against his arm more quickly now. His eyes flicked back and forth between the other two wizards in the room. Teddy watched him warily.

Dumbledore was silent for a moment and said, "And have you inherited any… _particular_ features from your father?"

It took Teddy a moment to understand the significance of this statement and his eyes widened as it dawned on him. "I'm not a werewolf," he told them quickly, shaking his head.

"I don't believe you," Sirius said quietly and Teddy heard something dangerous in his voice.

"No, really," he insisted, "I'm _not_ a werewolf—"

"I'm not talking about that. I mean I don't believe you're _Teddy Lupin_." Sirius turned to Dumbledore. "Albus, it's ridiculous, you can't honestly think _Remus_—"

But Dumbledore held up a hand to silence the other man. "Sirius, we have already established that we have a time traveler on our hands, why is it such a stretch of the imagination that he be the son of someone we know? Especially here, in Grimmauld Place. I daresay it only makes sense that he be familiar to have showed up here of all places."

"Yes, but it's _Remus_. He wouldn't…"

Sirius trailed off here, looking at Teddy out of the corner of his eye as though suddenly uncomfortable. But Teddy did not know what Sirius was trying to say here. _Remus wouldn't… what? _

Neither man seemed to be paying Teddy much attention at all for the moment and he let his gaze wander to the contents of the room. Grimmauld Place _had_ certainly changed quite a lot, but not for the worse as he had originally thought. It was amazing, really, what Harry had done with it. Teddy would never have imagined it to be so horrific when he was so familiar with the warm, inviting version of number twelve.

"Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore's voice cut into Teddy's thoughts. His head snapped up to look the aged wizard in the eyes and he raised his eyebrows expectantly. "Perhaps if you could give us some sort of information to assuage any doubt of your identity?"

"In-information?" he asked.

"Not about future events of course, simply something that proves you to be your father's son."

At this, Teddy became suddenly somber. He looked down at his lap and pretended to deliberate on what to say but his mind was on his father. The father that he could not remember. The father that he and Harry had been arguing about. The father that had died _so soon_ after he had been born. He had heard constant stories about the man Remus Lupin had been but he could not remember every hearing his voice or seeing his face. Only in pictures, pictures of a time long before Teddy existed.

"I know… about the Marauders," he finally said, looking up, mostly at Sirius. Sirius's expression quickly changed from skeptical to guarded. "I know about the _map_ and how it never lies. I know about… the animagus forms." He began nervously twisting his hands in his lap.

Sirius glanced at Dumbledore with a frown and muttered, "_Peter_ knew all of that as well." And then he turned to Teddy. "How about something more… recent?"

Teddy let out a shaky breath and fought down a laugh at the fleeting thought that he was sitting in the past defending his identity to two men he knew to be dead. _Something more recent_, he thought, racking his brain. He glanced around for inspiration and tried to recall Harry's stories of Grimmauld Place before he had restored it.

"I—er—your mother's portrait," he said. "It's always shouting things and no one can figure out how to get it off the wall. And your room, upstairs—your family was never able to get your posters down. And…" but he stopped because Sirius was looking less and less hostile and now appeared reluctantly intrigued.

Dumbledore was smiling. "I think that will be sufficient, Mr. Lupin. Now, onto more urgent matters, what shall we do with you?"

Teddy was not sure he liked the twinkle that had appeared in Dumbledore's eyes.

It was decided that Teddy was not, under any circumstances, to leave Grimmauld Place until matters could be arranged for him to be sent home. Teddy had frantically questioned whether they would be able to send him _at all_ but Dumbledore merely smiled and insisted that everything would be taken care of. It was also agreed that what had been shared in the sitting room was not to be shared with anyone else. Teddy, fearful for his own time, readily agreed to this. Sirius did so more reluctantly.

"We should be able to tell Remus," he had insisted. "It's his _son_." But Dumbledore had remained resistant. "If we were to tell Remus about Teddy it could endanger Teddy's very existence. Quite a paradox."

Should Teddy let slip anything to Sirius while the two of them hid out at Grimmauld Place, that information was not to be shared either. But it seemed that visitors were few and far between these days and keeping secrets amongst the two of them would not be difficult. When visitors did arrive Teddy was instructed to remain upstairs and out of sight.

"When you do return to your own present, Mr. Lupin, Sirius and I will be drinking a potion that will erase you from our memories. It will not undo, however, any changes to the timeline that you could cause while you are here. So I advise you to act and speak with extreme caution."

Since Teddy had met him just a few hours before he had never heard Albus Dumbledore so serious. He nodded slowly.

"The potion will require something of your person. A few hairs will do, I'm sure."

Once Teddy had plucked a few of his hairs and given them to Dumbledore the older wizard said his farewells, had a few brief and hushed words with Sirius and then departed leaving Teddy and Sirius Black alone.

Teddy looked away and considered his predicament. For however long it took for Dumbledore to devise a solution for sending him back to his correct time he would be staying in this nightmarish house. It was not an appealing prospect and felt rather like a prison sentence but he was careful not to mention this to Sirius. The other man was not allowed to leave either and, from what Harry had related, had actually spent time in prison.

"So," Sirius said suddenly and Teddy looked up to see that Sirius had replaced Dumbledore in the seat across from the sofa. "It seems we're going to be spending a lot of time together." His smile was not entirely unfriendly, but it was not exactly _warm _either.

* * *

><p><strong>AN. Here's chapter two! Thoughts?<strong>


	3. Evening Ritual

**Chapter Three-Evening Ritual**

Teddy woke the next morning along with the sunrise. He had slept very uneasily and not only because he was thoroughly unsettled at being eighteen years in the past. There were odd noises that kept coming from the house and he could hear footsteps at all hours. He wondered if Sirius Black slept at all.

As Teddy lie in bed staring at the slowly lightening ceiling he felt the weight of his circumstances settle somewhere in the region of his stomach. The brief, slim hope that he would wake to find the whole time travel business had been a terrible dream vanished with the first rays of sun that filtered through the window.

He rolled over onto his side and sighed, pulling the sheets up over his face. Although he had barely slept Teddy felt restless and tossed and turned for fifteen minutes before resigning himself to getting out of bed. He dressed in clothes that Sirius had found for him the day before and made his way down to the kitchen hoping for something to eat.

Teddy was surprised to find that the kitchen was not empty as he had anticipated. Sirius was at the counter cutting something and the smell of bacon reached Teddy's nose when he entered the room. He could tell instantly that Sirius was cleaner and better kept than he had been the day before. There was certainly no whiff of firewhiskey this morning.

Sitting down at the large wooden table Teddy cleared his throat a little awkwardly and Sirius turned instantly to face him. He nodded to indicate he was now aware of Teddy's presence and then turned back to the cutting board. Teddy was still trying to think of something to say when Sirius interrupted his thoughts.

"I haven't... cooked in a while," he said unapologetically. "I can't find Kreacher but I'm not sure I'd trust him not to poison the food so that's probably for the best."

Teddy said nothing and simply stared at the back of Sirius's head. He opened his mouth, could think of no appropriate response, and closed it again. He sat at the table in silence thinking he had heard the name Kreacher before but was unable to place it. He wondered if he should offer to help in the breakfast preparations but a few minutes later a plate of bacon, toast, and tomatoes was in front of him.

"It's all we had," Sirius said as he sat down across from Teddy.

"Thank you," Teddy said quietly.

The two of them ate in silence. Teddy offered to help with the dishes but Sirius insisted that Kreacher (Teddy assumed this was a house-elf) would tend to them when he showed back up. So Teddy left Sirius in the kitchen and ventured up the stairs to see what the rest of this version of Grimmauld Place had to offer.

As it turned out the house had very little to offer that was not either dark, dangerous, or boring. Teddy found books in one of the bedrooms with titles such as _Wizarding Genealogy_ and _Moste Potente Potions_ and some in French that he could not understand. Some of the rooms he found looked as though they had not been occupied in years. He encountered more than one set of ominously rustling curtains and felt certain that there was something living in them. He avoided the attic and room he knew to be housing a hippogriff and finally settled in the sitting room for the majority of the day.

Sirius seemed to have disappeared and when Teddy went into the kitchen for lunch there was no one there but he found a sandwich that he presumed had been left for him. By the end of the day Teddy was sure he had never been so bored in his life. Although he was terrified at the fact that he had landed himself almost two decades in the past he had at least imagined such an event would be more exciting. Rather, time in Grimmauld Place seemed to drag tediously. He wondered how Sirius did it, trapped in here all the time.

That evening Teddy lit a fire in the fireplace of the sitting room and pulled a large, ornate chair in front of it. He sat staring into the flames, his mood nearly as dark at the house around him. It was wretched to be stuck here when he should have been enjoying the holiday with the Potters. He missed them already and was feeling increasingly guilty about his fight with Harry. He wondered if they knew he was missing, if they were frantically searching for him. Or perhaps he would return to the moment he had disappeared and no one would even know he had gone. Perhaps he would not return at all.

Teddy was so deep in these thoughts that it was a few minutes before he realized that Sirius had appeared and pulled a chair up to the fire as well. He appeared much sulkier than he had at breakfast and Teddy wondered if he too had been brooding all day. The two of them sat in silence for a good while before Sirius spoke.

"Tell me something about yourself," he said and Teddy started in his seat at the sudden break in the quiet. He turned to face the other man.

"I'm not sure if I should..." he began. Dumbledore had been very clear. The less conversation about the future the better. "It could be dangerous."

This did not seem to bother Sirius. "I'm not asking for a history lesson. I'm going to forget all about you soon enough aren't I? Just tell me something about yourself."

Teddy had never been asked to share mundane facts about his life before. He cast around for something to talk about. "I'm in Gryffindor," he blurted out somewhat stupidly and felt himself blush. He hoped it was not obvious in the warm glow of the fire. Sirius raised an eyebrow at him and then looked back into the flames as if waiting for Teddy to continue.

"I-er-I don't play Quidditch at Hogwarts," he carried on, still looking at Sirius, trying to gauge some reaction. "But I like it. I play in the summer sometimes with my... cousins." By 'cousins' he meant the various Weasley and Potter children. It did not occur to him that neither of his parents had had any siblings and so actual cousins would have been impossible. Sirius made no comment. And so Teddy continued talking.

He pulled one leg up onto the chair and started picking at the fray at the bottom of his jeans while he talked, waiting for an interruption that never came. He talked for an hour about unimportant things-his favorite classes, what his friends were like, which house was likely to win the Quidditch Cup that year. He was not sure if Sirius was listening but he continued on anyway until he could think of nothing else to say. Finally trailed off into silence, glancing at Sirius. Still there was no response and the two of them sat in silence.

Soon after Teddy left for bed feeling gloomy but thinking that perhaps Sirius had not looked quite as sulky as he had earlier.

* * *

><p>The next few days at Grimmauld Place were much the same as the first. Teddy would pass the time with whatever form of meager entertainment he could find while Sirius disappeared somewhere in the house. In the evenings Teddy and Sirius would stay by the fire in the sitting room and Teddy would talk about mundane things while Sirius listened. Sirius gradually began to participate in these conversations more and more and Teddy liked to think that in some way he was helping the other man. He shuddered to think of what he would do if stuck in Grimmauld Place for months on end with no one to talk to but a hippogriff.<p>

These evenings quickly became Teddy's favorite part of the day and he found himself looking forward to the time spent by the fire with Sirius. He was surprised that it was somehow comforting to talk about things from home. It helped him believe that he would be back there soon despite lack of any word from Dumbledore. Time travel was tricky business, he supposed, and tried not to dwell on what would happen if Dumbledore failed to find a solution for him.

And while Sirius learned seemingly unimportant facts about the life of Teddy Lupin, Teddy was learning things about the time he currently occupied. There was no harm in learning things from Sirius because in his own time they had already happened. As Sirius was all but confined to Grimmauld Place there was not much to tell, but Teddy appreciated the exchange all the same. Mostly Sirius would ask questions of Teddy, some of which he answered. Some of them however hovered in the gray area of what might not be considered Dumbledore-approved conversation topics.

"You said this house belonged to your godfather," Sirius said one evening during a lull in the conversation. Teddy felt the familiar tickle of apprehension at discussing anything specific about the future.

"I did, didn't I?" he responded in what he hoped was a casual tone.

"Well it obviously isn't me," Sirius continued. "Not to sound conceited but I like to think that Remus and I are close." Teddy thought he heard something of a joking tone in Sirius's voice was but it was so subtle he might have imagined it.

He raised an eyebrow. "And how would you know? It very well could be you."

Sirius snorted. "First time you saw me you had no idea who I was."

"Maybe you've changed. A lot can happen in eighteen years."

Sirius looked suddenly somber. "A lot_ does_ happen in eighteen years." He paused. "I never did plan on living past forty."

There was something of a smile on Sirius's face but a twisted, grim looking one. Teddy held back a shudder at the sight of it. He had nothing to say to this and so turned to look at the fire in the grate. It was flickering wildly.

"It begs the question, who would Remus name as your godfather?" Sirius continued. He looked genuinely curious. Although not quite a rhetorical question Teddy chose to take it as such and said nothing. He would not look at Sirius but continued to stare at the flames.

"Someone from the Order, maybe," Sirius mused. Teddy found himself growing increasingly more uncomfortable and started picking at the hem of his shirt sleeve. "But why would they live _here_ of all places?"

Teddy glanced up at Sirius to see comprehension dawning on the other man's face.

"Not... _Harry_?"

Although Teddy neither confirmed nor denied this verbally his face flushed and he looked away. This was all the answer that Sirius needed.

"But that's fantastic," Sirius said, sounding genuinely happy for the first time. "_Harry_ is your godfather. Perfect. All in the family."

The last part made no sense to Teddy and he raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "The family?"

Sirius looked at him with something like mischief in his eyes. "The Marauders," he said simply and then added, "...And offspring."

"Ah."

"And Harry lives _here_?" Sirius asked incredulously. "_Why_?"

Teddy looked around at the gloomy sitting room and grimaced. "It's much nicer now... then," he said awkwardly, correctly himself. "I barely recognized it when I got here."

Sirius also observed their surroundings and he suddenly looked sulky again. "Well I certainly can't imagine it getting any worse. But I've never seen a pleasant side of Grimmauld Place."

"I've never seen such a nightmarish version of it," Teddy countered thinking he would give almost anything to never see this place again.

Sirius was looking very intently at Teddy now. "And is he happy? Harry. Is he happy?"

Teddy looked back at Sirius with no idea how to answer such a question. The simple answer was yes, Harry was very happy. He had a loving wife and three wonderful children. He loved his job. He was a brilliant husband and father... and godfather. But to say this aloud to Sirius carried so many other implications. For one, a content, family-man Harry Potter lived in a world without Voldemort, a world in which one of the most brutal wars in Wizarding Britain's history was _over_. A world in which Harry Potter was more a hero than ever before.

And Teddy could not tell Sirius this. He did not know what to say, how to answer.

"He-it's complicated. There are things I can't-can't tell you."

But Sirius did not give up easily and pressed on. "You don't have to tell me the why or the how. I just want to know. Is he happy?"

Teddy sighed. "Yes," he said simply. "He's happy."

"And Remus?" Sirius asked.

This was quite unexpected and Teddy suddenly felt as though his insides had disappeared. His breath caught somewhere in his chest and he sat with his mouth hanging open as coherent thought vacated his brain.

_Don't answer that_, was the only thing that registered in his mind. But Teddy could not see a way to avoid answering. Would saying nothing be too obvious? Would his silence somehow communicate, _my father is dead_? Should he lie and tell Sirius that yes, Remus Lupin was very happy when it was so obviously a lie?

"He-I-I don't-I don't know," he finally said, raking a hand through his hair. He felt cornered somehow, as if there were no right answer. Sirius furrowed his brow.

"You don't know," he said darkly. It was more a skeptical statement than a question. Teddy frantically wished that this conversation was over. He wanted to get up and bolt, to barricade himself in his room and avoid all human contact until Dumbledore figured out a way to get him out of this place and back to his proper time.

"We-don't talk about it," he said honestly. "And I really don't want to talk about it now either."

Sirius was watching him with narrowed eyes that Teddy avoided. He suddenly felt that the fire busily flickering away was far too close. It was becoming unbearably _hot _in the sitting room. He almost stood to leave when Sirius spoke again.

"And what _aren't_ you telling me?"

Teddy finally made eye contact but said nothing. There was nothing _to_ say.

"Remus doesn't think he'll ever have a family," Sirius said quietly. "He thinks he's too... dangerous. But then he's always been a bit self-depreciating. Tell me he doesn't do something stupid and ruin this for himself."

Teddy just continued to stare, blank-faced at Sirius. _Tell me he doesn't do something stupid_...

Teddy wanted to laugh and cry at the same time but he remained expressionless. The familiar anger he had been feeling towards his father recently bubbled up again. "I wish I could," he said and then stood from the chair. He left Sirius sitting alone by the fire.

* * *

><p>The next night Teddy was wary of returning to the sitting room for what had become something of an evening ritual. The fireside conversations with Sirius had been a comfort to him for the past few days but after last night Teddy felt anything but comforted. He avoided Sirius all day, eating at strange times so as to escape any awkward mealtime conversation. When the sun set and it was past suppertime Teddy paced in his room, indecision overwhelming him.<p>

He certainly did not want to end up in another conversation about his father. It was hard enough struggling through how he felt about the matter without having to avoid giving anything away about important future events. He couldn't even talk to _Harry_ about it without ending up in a shouting match, much less a man who was practically a stranger.

But there was something else gnawing at Teddy that he simply could not brush aside. Sirius Black was an as yet untapped well of information about Remus Lupin. He had heard all of the stories that Harry knew, and others from his grandmother. But Sirius had known his father in school, had been best friends with him, known him longer than anyone else. And Teddy was curious despite himself and despite his current feelings of frustration.

And so he paced, torn between the desire to learn more about the man he had never had the chance to meet and the apprehension at discussing such a sensitive subject.

Ultimately Teddy decided in favor of the sitting room and made his way there to see that Sirius had already lit a fire and was gazing absently into the flames. Teddy took his usual seat across from the other man and said nothing.

Any moment he expected questions from Sirius about their conversation the night before, about Remus and the secrets that Teddy was keeping. And so he was surprised when Sirius asked, "So who's the lucky lady that won Remus over? If only briefly," he added tactlessly.

Teddy gave him a disparaging look. He would like to be able to say that Remus Lupin had not simply been briefly "won over" before fleeing. He would like to be able to say that he had not run out on his family but, in Teddy's eyes, that was exactly what he had done by rushing foolishly into a battle that still would have been won without him. And now Sirius was asking about his mother...

"You know I can't tell you that," he said with an exasperated sigh. "What if you did something or said something and changed things so I was never born?"

"I do nothing but _encourage_ Remus's love life. I would never do anything to _sabotage_ it."

"I don't think Dumbledore would approve..."

"Well, I've never been one for following the rules," Sirius said with something of a smirk. It looked odd on his hollowed face.

Teddy sighed again. "Why can't we talk about other things? Unimportant things? Quidditch or... Hogwarts or..." But he trailed off. These were the only two subjects he could think of and both had been thoroughly exhausted.

"I'm interested. And who am I going to tell? Buckbeak?"

Teddy raised an eyebrow. "Who's Buckbeak?"

"The hippogriff."

"Oh."

There was a brief silence. Teddy fidgeted in his chair as Sirius watched him.

"There's something... familiar about you," Sirius pressed. "And not because of Remus."

As he considered it Teddy realized that he was tired of arguing to keep secrets from Sirius. And he was eager to discuss a topic that was not his father, at least not directly. Resigned, Teddy rubbed his face and let his shoulders slump. "Fine," he said.

He looked at Sirius, concentrating intently and a moment later his hair was a bright, aqua-blue. He raised his hands half-heartedly as if to communicate a _tah dah_.

Sirius's eyebrows disappeared into his unkempt hair and then he suddenly let out a bark of laughter.

"Happy?" Teddy asked.

Sirius smirked. "Ecstatic."

Perhaps Sirius had sensed that Teddy was in no mood to further discuss Remus Lupin because the subject of his father did not come up again that evening. Sirius was more animated than he had been any of the previous nights and Teddy began to relax. He felt more and more comfortable sharing things with Sirius. It was just the two of them in the house after all, both of them prisoners of a sort and he felt as though they ought to stick together.

But Teddy was no more excited to talk about his mother than his father and he was constantly steering the conversation away from them. While he felt lingering resentment towards both his parents for leaving to fight and die in battle just after he had been born, these feelings were more strongly directed towards his father. He had left first and his mother had followed. He had been reluctant to start a family while his mother seemed to glow with happiness in all of the pictures they occupied together. Teddy was not proud of his feelings but he could simply dismiss them either and so he avoided them.

Teddy was in the midst of deflecting yet another barely veiled question about Teddy's upbringing when there came a sudden uproar of noise from the floor below.

_"FILTH! VILE CREATURE HOW DARE YOU DARKEN MY DOORSTEP! SCUM OF THE EARTH!"_

Teddy jumped to his feet and reached automatically for his wand but Sirius laid a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. "It's only my mother's portrait. Stay here."

Teddy did not know what that meant but he nodded. And with that Sirius hurried from the room, the shouting still persisting from elsewhere in the house. Teddy stood alone in the sitting room, his wand hanging limp at his side. A moment later the shouting stopped and the silence that took its place seemed to ring in Teddy's ears.

Then there were muffled voices from below. Sirius was talking to someone and Teddy's was intrigued by the thought of a visitor. It was the first since he had arrived and his curiosity was such that he simply could not resist cracking the door open to listen to the two people below.

He leaned cautiously against the door and strained to hear the conversation that was taking place but it was too faint. He could tell that the second voice was male and he could tell that the two men were whispering but about what he could not make out. When he heard footsteps on the stairs he hurried back to his seat by the fireplace and watched the door from the corner of his eye.

Sirius entered a moment later but remained just inside the doorway. Teddy turned to face him and waited.

"We have company," he said. "And he's going to be staying for a while so I thought it best to let him know that _you_ are also staying in the house for the time being." There was something unsettling about the look in Sirius's eye. Teddy felt suddenly nervous. And then he felt as though he had been punched several times in the gut.

The man Sirius had been whispering with followed him into the room. Standing just meters away looking tired and haggard and _alive_ was Remus Lupin.

* * *

><p><strong>AN. stayed up late into the night to post this. thoughts? <strong>


	4. The Confused Emotions of Teddy Lupin

**Chapter Four-The Confused Emotions of Teddy Lupin**

For the briefest moment Teddy did not at all recognize the man in the doorway but then he could hardly be blamed because he was looking at his father for the very first time in his life.

He had seen pictures of course, seemingly countless photos, all memorized, but to see Remus Lupin standing before him in the flesh caught Teddy entirely off-guard. For all the endless hours he had spent staring hungrily into photos trying to commit his father's face to heart he was unprepared for the real thing.

Unaware that he was so blatantly staring Teddy started when the Remus Lupin he was looking at walked further into the room and sat in the seat usually occupied by Sirius. Teddy's gaze followed him, unblinking, as though if he were to close his eyes even for a second the man across from him would disappear.

Sirius's voice startled Teddy out of his thoughts. "This is Teddy," he said, addressing Remus. "Our resident time traveller."

Teddy nearly forgot to breathe when his father turned to greet him. "Hello," he said pleasantly enough. Teddy swallowed and opened his mouth to reply but he could not make a sound. He had just heard his father's _voice_. It was a nice voice-calm, even, measured. He sounded tired but not unfriendly. Teddy replayed the one, simple, seemingly unimportant word over and over in his head. _Hello. Hello. Hello._

Sirius cleared his throat and Teddy became aware that the other two men in the room were both looking at him oddly. He glanced back and forth between Sirius and his father unsure of what to do.

"This, Teddy, is Remus Lupin," Sirius told him with a smirk on his face. "And as I said he'll be staying here for a bit."

Finally Teddy found his voice. "Nice to meet you," he mumbled, his gaze frozen on the man seated so close to him, the man that would become his father. He supposed it should have been strange, being introduced to your own father as a stranger, but Teddy was feeling far too many other emotions to feel awkward at the moment. Remus Lupin nodded to him and then turned to warm his hands by the fire.

Sirius pulled another chair towards them, seated himself between the two Lupins and Teddy caught him frequently shooting glances between them, an impatient expression on his face.

Teddy struggled inwardly with how to think of the man across from him. _Dad_ seemed far too personal, far too familiar. And yet _father_ seemed far too _impersonal_ and formal. He settled on simply thinking of him as _Remus_, for at this moment in time he was no one's father, merely Remus Lupin.

"Teddy here has been telling me about himself," Sirius said into the silence and Teddy turned to him in alarm.

Remus turned toward Sirius as well, his eyebrows raised in surprise. "Is that safe?" he asked, glancing at Teddy himself. Again, Teddy was caught off-guard at the sound of his father's voice and did not respond.

"It's harmless," Sirius said with an airy shrug of indifference. "When he leaves we'll all be drinking a potion to forget he even exists. No harm in getting to know him a little."

"Just because we'll forget about Teddy doesn't mean we couldn't change things," Remus said quietly and Teddy hung on his every word. The sound of his name in his father's voice was possibly one of the most wonderful things he had ever heard.

Sirius was less enraptured. "Honestly, Remus, it's nothing," he said dismissively. "He's in Gryffindor. he's fifteen years old-"

"Sirius, even the smallest change could disrupt Teddy's entire existence," Remus insisted, raising a hand to stop Sirius speaking. "We shouldn't be asking him anything and he shouldn't be telling us anything." He turned to Teddy.

"I'm sorry, Teddy. I'm sure you didn't mean any harm but I really think the less we know about you the better."

Teddy felt as if his stomach had disappeared and he sat very still for a moment. He could feel Sirius's gaze on him but his own eyes never left the man across from him. All of his conflicting emotions about Remus Lupin seemed to disappear for a moment as he was simply empty.

"Right. Good. That's-that's fine," Teddy said brokenly, his voice sounding strange in his ears. He stood jerkily from his seat. He could hear Sirius's voice but none of the words made sense. It was as though something were buzzing in his ears. With a mumbled goodnight Teddy hurried out of the sitting room and down the hall where he closed himself into his room and collapsed onto his bed.

Teddy did not sleep at all that night. Although he felt tired his mind was cycling through too many strong emotions for him to settle into sleep. His father's face seemed to swim before him in the darkness, his voice echoing in Teddy's mind. _I really think the less we know about you the better._

It was not that Teddy could not see the logic in this reasoning because he could. He would only be endangering himself telling them things about the future and it occurred to him that perhaps he had been a bit reckless telling Sirius everything that he had. But these same conversations, the evening chats by the warm fire, were such a comfort to Teddy that he had not let himself think about the danger. In a few short nights he had already grown accustomed to swapping stories with Sirius. It was only upon hearing Remus Lupin's warning words that Teddy realized he had been hopeful to begin with that he might share the same stories with his father.

Yes, Teddy understood that this argument made sense, but to hear his father say he had no interest in getting to know him was rather like a slap in the face. And Remus did not, could not, know that his words would affect Teddy so deeply.

_I really think the less we know about you the better_.

In the moment Teddy had frozen and he was barely conscious of practically fleeing the sitting room but now, lying wide awake staring at the ceiling, these words stung.

Again Teddy let the anger and resentment he had built up towards his father bubble up to the surface and Teddy felt the urge to scream. He wanted to rush back into the sitting room and scream at the man in front of him that he had abandoned his only son, to release some of his pent up frustration. But the hours slowly ticked by and even if Teddy had decided to return to the room down the hall he was certain to find it unoccupied.

The total injustice of his situation welled up inside of Teddy but as his anger began to subside it made room for the emotion Teddy had been holding so fiercely at bay. Hope.

Despite all of his frustrations and resentment towards his father for the past few weeks Teddy still wanted very much to have his parents in his life. And tonight, for the first time in his memory, Teddy had heard his father's voice speak to him, say his name. He had watched as Remus Lupin sat across from him, close enough to touch, and warm his hands by the fire.

Teddy was lost eighteen years in the past in a time when the war against Voldemort was still going on and he was trapped in a nightmare of a house. But none of that seemed to matter because tonight Teddy had been given an opportunity that no one else ever had. He had the chance to get to know the father who had died so soon after he was born.

Teddy wrestled all night with his conflicting emotions going back and forth between disappointment and hope and as sunlight began to creep through his grimy window he had a smile on his face. He was not going to squander this opportunity. Even if Remus Lupin wanted to know nothing about him, Teddy was determined to know as much about Remus Lupin as possible. He would have to put aside his doubts and trust in what Harry and his grandmother and the Weasleys had always told him-that Remus Lupin was a wonderful man. And so even though he had not slept at all Teddy rose for the day and changed his clothes, a thousand questions already forming in his mind.

When Teddy entered the gloomy kitchen of Grimmauld Place he had expected to find it empty as it was still quite early. However he swung open the door to reveal none other than Remus Lupin already seated at the large wooden table, a cup of tea steaming in front of him and a the new edition of the Daily Prophet spread open. He looked up immediately when Teddy entered and smiled kindly.

"Good morning. Tea?"

Teddy returned the smile and nodded. "Please." He was pleased to find himself much more composed than the night before although his heart was beating rather rapidly in his chest.

As Teddy took a seat at the table Remus summoned the kettle from the stove and a cup from one of the cupboards. He poured it and then passed it to Teddy who wrapped both his hands around the cup to warm them. Grimmauld Place held a chill in the morning.

For a few minutes neither of them spoke. Remus continued to read the paper with a small frown on his face and Teddy sipped at his tea while he watched the man across from him as surreptitiously as possible. Remus apparently finished whichever article he had been reading because he folded up the newspaper with a sigh and then turned his attention suddenly to Teddy.

"I am sorry if I came across as a rude last night, Teddy."

Teddy had not been expecting this. He had felt rather offended at the time but after his overnight musings decided not to open hostilities. "You weren't," he said and his voice was steady. "You were right."

Remus had a knowing smile on his face. "Well I'm sure you probably took some convincing but Sirius can be very persistent."

"I noticed."

And the two of them shared a smile as though they had told some sort of inside joke. In that moment Teddy suddenly remembered Harry and felt a pang of regret. Though he felt slightly better at the thought that he was now doing his best to give Remus Lupin a chance to redeem himself. He sipped his tea.

"You really will forget all about me though," Teddy went on. "And it's nice to talk about home. For the most part I really haven't said anything dangerous."

It was Remus's turn to sip his tea. "For the most part?"

Teddy looked away and focused on a table in front of him. "Sirius is persistent," he said quietly.

"Well I'll leave that between you and Sirius then," his father said sounding entirely disinterested. Teddy held back a sigh and finished the last of his tea. The two Lupins sat in silence for a few more minutes until Teddy finally rose and left the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Although Teddy had decided that he would not squander the opportunity to get to know his father he had trouble striking up any lasting conversations with the man. Remus Lupin was a very reserved individual and though he was never unfriendly and was always polite, small talk with him was scarce.<p>

Teddy tried not to shadow his father too much throughout the day but he simply could not help himself moving from room to room according to where Remus happened to be at the time. He hoped he was not being too obvious but had caught Sirius smirking at him more than once.

For the first day since Teddy had arrived Sirius had not hidden himself away all day to brood and he was much more cheerful for it. Now he had two people for company for an indefinite amount of time and Teddy could tell that it was doing him a world of good. Teddy even caught him whistling absently after lunch as he went upstairs to feed the hippogriff. But Teddy was certain this new mood would not last. He dreaded to think what would happen when Sirius was once again solitary in the large, gloomy house.

Teddy sat perched in a cushioned window seat the sitting room he so frequently occupied these days. And as he sat thinking about Sirius's unfortunate position another even darker thought settled in. Of course Teddy did not have to wonder what would happen when Sirius was once again left alone. He knew. Sirius would eventually once again be solitary in Grimmauld Place and would become so morose and so desperate to take action that he would recklessly bolt to the Ministry in an attempt to save his godson. And with that Sirius would never again return to number twelve.

With a sigh Teddy turned his attention outside. It was evening, after dinner, and the moon was out. He tried not to think about Sirius and his father but could not help it and for the first time since arriving Teddy felt vaguely tempted to try and _change_ something. But there was too much at risk, too much that Teddy would regret losing and this made him feel guilty so he ignored the entire idea. He would not change anything if he could help it. But it rather felt like condemning Sirius (and later his parents) to death.

It was odd, to be in the company of a man who had only months left to live and did not know it. Teddy found it hard to look Sirius in the eye when he entered the room a few minutes later, followed by Remus. The two of them seemed to be having some sort of argument.

"We've been through this, Sirius. Your animagus form is not enough to conceal you. Peter will surely have told them all about it."

Teddy watched them from where he sat and said nothing. Sirius collapsed into a vacant chair and Remus followed suit more calmly. Neither of them seemed aware that Teddy was in the room at all.

"It's not as though they can go to the ministry with that information," Sirius insisted. "I'm not helpless, Remus. I can do _something_."

Remus sighed. Teddy suspected this argument was not a new one. "No one is saying you're helpless, Sirius-"

"That's exactly what everyone's saying! Especially Snape," he added bitterly at the end.

"Yes well when was the last time either of you said anything complimentary about the other?" Remus put in impatiently. "Of course he's trying to goad you."

Sirius did not respond to this but instead turned towards the fireplace to light it. A moment later a warm orange glow filled the room and the other two men seemed to relax. Teddy continued to watch them from the window seat.

"Harry needs you to stay safe, Sirius," Remus said and his voice was considerably less agitated now. "He doesn't want you back in Azkaban. Or worse, dead."

Sirius ran a hand through his long, wild hair. "Azkaban is worse," he said so quietly that Teddy barely caught it. "I'd rather be dead."

Remus reached out to place a comforting hand on Sirius's arm but the other shrugged it off. "And then where would Harry be?"

"He'd have you," Sirius said sullenly. "He got by fine without me, Remus, for twelve years. A lot of good I've done him since." His tone was so bitter that Teddy flinched.

"You may not believe it but you're important to him. You're practically all he has left."

Sirius had no response to this and in the silence that followed Teddy's thoughts turned to his godfather. It was strange somehow to think of all the things they had in common. And all the things they did not. Both orphans from a young age, both with godfathers, but where Teddy's life was full of love and family Harry had grown up without either of those things. He suddenly felt a surge of affection for Harry and made a mental note to thank him when he saw him again.

"You're no good to anyone dead," Remus said and Teddy got the impression that they were not just talking about Harry now. Remus Lupin had lost quite a lot before he died as well.

Sirius leaned forward in his chair and rested his arms on his knees. "There are some things worth dying for."

"There are things worth living for as well. Things worth fighting for."

And it was these words more than anything that struck a chord with Teddy because of course Remus had died fighting for something he believed in. Teddy had grown up not knowing war, not understanding the value of such a sacrifice and it was this that fueled his anger towards his parents. But as he sat and listened to these two men talk, two men who had known almost nothing but war he began to doubt his feelings.

More confused than ever Teddy rose from the window seat and made his way over to the fire to join them. He took the last vacant seat, the one in the middle, and pulled his legs up so his chin rested on his knees.

"Was wondering when you were going to join us," Sirius said with false surprise. It seemed Sirius at least had been aware of him the whole time.

"Good evening, Teddy."

"Evening," he said, wondering if they would be upset about him listening in on their conversation.

For a few hours the three of them talked about unimportant things but every time Sirius tried to maneuver the conversation towards Teddy Remus deftly changed the subject. Teddy asked them to tell him stories about their school days and Sirius eagerly obliged, weaving long tails about the legendary exploits of the Marauders. Remus chimed in occasionally, thoroughly amused, to correct some of Sirius's more lavish details.

"His ears were not five times larger than usual. At most it was two."

"Still hilarious though," Sirius said, waving off Remus's editing.

Teddy mostly listened, asking questions occasionally, and watching his father's face from the corner of his eye. He seemed to be genuinely happy, less tired and worn than he had appeared all day, and it made Teddy's heart ache with something he could not quite identify.

Slowly the fire began to burn itself out and Remus was the first to rise. "I'm off to bed, I'm afraid. Goodnight." Teddy and Sirius both wished him a goodnight as well and Teddy turned to watch him depart the room. He felt suddenly sad. His eyes lingered on the doorway until Sirius's voice pulled his attention away.

"I know that something is going on with you," Sirius started and Teddy turned to answer him with a quirked eyebrow. Sirius scowled at him. "You've been acting odd all day, following him around like a lost puppy. So, out with it. What happened?"

Teddy started at him incredulously. "Are you _joking_?" But he clearly wasn't. Teddy leaned back in his chair and laughed at the absurdity of Sirius's question. "You want me to tell you something like that? Something big? Something directly related to _me_ and my very existence?"

Sirius remained stony-faced. "I've already puzzled out, _difficult_ as it was, that _something_ happens to make you act so oddly around your own father," he said and Teddy could definitely hear the sarcasm in his voice. "What's the harm in knowing a few of the details? I'm trying to help you."

"Help me," Teddy yelped with a humorless laugh and the earlier melancholy he had felt creeping in turned to irritation. "You think me telling you _more_ little details about the future is going to _help me_?"

"I think you telling me about your little rift with Remus will help me fix it for you."

But it was Teddy's turn to scowl. "It's not about me at all. You're only doing this because... because you're bored or-"

"I'm doing it for you," Sirius said quietly and he seemed suddenly dangerous, like the man Teddy had first encountered upon his arrival in the past. But Teddy was not afraid of Sirius Black anymore.

"No you're not," he said fiercely. "If you were doing it for me you wouldn't be asking me to put myself in jeopardy by telling you things you don't need to know."

Sirius snorted derisively. "So suddenly you're tight-lipped about yourself. If it's what Remus said last night, don't let it bother you. What's life without a little risk?"

Teddy stared at the other man and he realized that Sirius did not really understand the kind of danger Teddy was in. It was no risk to Sirius but to Teddy a slip up could mean he blinked out of existence. But Sirius either did not care about this or had not entirely thought through his actions. Teddy hoped it was the latter.

If he were honest Teddy would have liked to tell Sirius what was bothering him but the risk was too great. He was becoming irrationally angry, not at Sirius, but at the injustice of this whole situation, to be so close and yet so far from his own father, to not be able to change anything but to want to so desperately. Remus was right, he should not have told Sirius _anything_ about himself. Then they would not be having this conversation.

"Look, maybe I was being stupid before," Teddy said, "sharing those things with you. I'll admit, it's nice to talk about home, but you can't keep asking me to spill all of my secrets. Remus is right, it's dangerous."

Sirius raised an eyebrow as Teddy said _Remus_ and straightened in his seat as though readying himself for a fight.

"It didn't seem to bother you before."

"It didn't bother me before. It bothers me now!"

"Because Remus is here. Because you're harboring some sort of resentment towards him but you're still trying so desperately to impress him. Because the two of you probably had some stupid fight, you're so similar-"

"_Because he's dead!_" Teddy cut him off in a loud voice. The silence that followed had Teddy and Sirius staring at each other in shock as though neither could believe that Teddy had just blurted that out. He felt his cheeks redden half in embarrassment and half in anger and he refused to break eye contact.

Sirius was even paler than usual. His face was a stark white. "Dead," he whispered. The word filled the space between them and Teddy felt anxiety creeping up into his stomach.

"You can't say anything," he whispered back. Sirius began to look defiant but before he could respond Teddy stood and ran from the room.

* * *

><p><strong>AN. Well, here's chapter four. It has been by far the hardest to get through so I would love to hear some of your thoughts.<strong>


	5. Worth Dying For

**Chapter Five-Worth Dying For**

Teddy ran into his room and onto his bed and collapsed on it face down, his knees curled under him and his hands grasping desperately at his hair.

_What have I done? What have I done?_

His argument with Sirius was ringing in his ears and it made his stomach clench painfully. _"Because he's dead!"_

The look on Sirius's face, so shocked as to be almost comical if the situation were not so desperately grave, seemed to be burned into the back of Teddy's eyelids. He had just told his father's best friend, a reckless and frequently depressed man, that Remus Lupin was going to die. Teddy had never so desperately wished to be able to take something back, to go back and undo it. It did not help that he was actually in a position to change things he had always wished had been different.

Certainly not for the first time the tempting idea of saving his parents' lives flashed through Teddy's mind. But he quickly brushed it aside for all the same reasons he had done so before. Having let slip this unfortunate fact to Sirius did not change anything. He simply had to make sure that Sirius did not tell _anyone_.

Teddy sighed and rolled over onto his back and stretched his legs out. He felt trapped, cornered. He kept messing up, ruining everything and it seemed as though everything he said only continued to make things worse. Teddy felt suddenly terrified that because he might have changed things the future he knew, the one he was so desperate to return to, would have drastically changed. He might not be able to go back at all.

And for the first time since he had arrived back in this nightmarish version of Grimmauld Place Teddy felt angry and desperate tears wet his cheeks. He brushed them away furiously and curled onto his side, one hand in a fist around the messy sheets. He wished that Dumbledore were here, that he would come and fix everything, make Sirius and Remus forget about him.

The thought of his father forgetting about his very existence made Teddy's chest ache painfully but he reminded himself that Remus Lupin did not have any real inkling as to who Teddy was anyway. Unless Sirius did something reckless and told him. Which was a very real possibility.

After some time curled up on the bed Teddy sat up and ran a shaky hand through his disheveled hair. He had to try and fix this. Had to convince Sirius not to say anything. He could not simply run away to his room and wish for everything to get better.

Despite his trembling limbs that he could not seem to calm Teddy rose quickly from the bed and made his way back down the hall towards the sitting room. A quick glance around the now darkened room told him it was empty and a brief note of panic swept through him. He had to find Sirius, talk to him.

Turning quickly Teddy ran as quietly as possible back down the hall trying to remember where Sirius slept. He recalled his first night in Grimmauld Place, lying awake and hearing footsteps in the house, wondering if Sirius slept at all. He could be anywhere in the large house. At the stairs Teddy made a quick decision and began to climb them. The first few rooms he encountered were empty and cluttered but the door at the end of the hall, normally shut tight, was slightly ajar and moonlight filtered out from the crack. Teddy walked towards it feeling nervous. He had avoided this room so far due to the fact that it was presently occupied by a hippogriff.

He was rewarded for his bravery however when he pushed the door open and found Sirius sitting on the floor next to the hippogriff. The large beast raised its head and seemed to glare at Teddy suspiciously as he stood in the doorway. Sirius did not turn to acknowledge him but said, "You're supposed to bow."

Not having taken Care of Magical Creatures Teddy had to take Sirius at his word and after a moment's hesitation bowed to the hippogriff. The animal inclined its feathery head in return and Teddy glanced at Sirius to see if it was now safe to enter. Sirius nodded without looking at him.

Now that he had found Sirius Teddy discovered that he was at quite a loss as to what exactly to say to the man. He felt oddly that he should apologize for something but did not know what and so instead he said nothing. After standing for a few indecisive seconds Teddy found a relatively clean piece of floor next to Sirius and sat down. He watched as the hippogriff's beak nuzzled Sirius's foot. The older man reached out a hand to absently stroke the beak.

"Why do you have a hippogriff in your house?" Teddy asked.

Sirius still refused to look at him. "Well I couldn't very well keep him in the yard. Buckbeak and I are both on the run from the law."

Buckbeak closed his eyes contentedly as Sirius continued to pet him absentmindedly. Teddy could think of nothing else to say and so remained silent. The stayed like that for quite some time and Teddy thought that perhaps there was some sort of unspoken agreement between the two of them that what Teddy had let slip before was off-limits. But eventually Sirius spoke up again.

"I have to know," he said quietly. "Do you know how..." He trailed off but Teddy understood immediately what he was talking about. Did he know how Remus Lupin had died.

"You can't know that," Teddy told him for what felt like the hundredth time. "I've told you far too much already. You have to forget, forget everything I've ever said to you."

"I'm going to," Sirius spat out bitterly. "As soon as Dumbledore figures out how to send you back I'll forget all about you and nothing will change. I still die. Remus still dies."

Teddy looked at his knees. "Things could still change," he said quietly.

"And you don't want them to?"

There was something cutting in Sirius's words and Teddy looked up at him in surprise. In the moonlight Sirius's hollowed face was even more startling. "What?"

Sirius turned to him for the first time since Teddy had found him with the hippogriff. "You've been given an opportunity to save your father's life and you're not going to take it?"

Teddy recoiled from Sirius as if the other man had hit him. It certainly felt as though he taken a punch in the gut. Some small part of Teddy realized that Sirius was only lashing out this way out of grief and shock at learning of his friend's untimely death but Teddy ignored this. Instead, he shoved Sirius hard in the shoulder and stood up.

Buckbeak raised his head and ruffled his wings at the sudden disturbance and a second later Sirius was also on his feet.

"You can save him," Sirius said hoarsely, taking a step closer to Teddy. Teddy stepped away. "Don't you want to?"

"Shut up," Teddy whispered fiercely. Sirius grabbed both of his shoulders roughly and said, "You have to do _something." _

Teddy shrugged out of Sirius's grasp and knocked the man's hands away. "I _can't,_" he whispered desperately. "You don't think I want to? _Of course I want to! _Do you have any idea how hard it is to be here and know that I can't do anything without risking the lives of _everyone I know?_ Don't you understand how dangerous this is? You're so damn _selfish_ and you-"

"Selfish?" Sirius cut in with a bark like laugh. There was no humor in it. "Didn't ask you to save my own life did I?"

"You don't give a damn what happens where I come from because it doesn't affect _you_. Did it ever occur to you that I could destroy everything just by being here?"

Teddy, braced for more shouting, watched as Sirius eyed him but he said nothing for a moment. He merely stared at Teddy as though he had never seen anything quite like him before.

"You could make things better," Sirius persisted. "Fix things that went wrong."

"I could also make things _worse._ I could ruin everything. Maybe... maybe things happened the way they were supposed to."

There was a moment of heavy silence in which even Buckbeak was still. And then Sirius whispered, "He's not supposed to die."

"Maybe there are some things worth dying for," Teddy told him, unconsciously echoing Sirius's own words. And for the first time Teddy was beginning to believe it. He looked down at the floor and felt guilt and confusion settle into his stomach. He had hated his parents for running off to die in battle and abandoning him and now he was defending it?

"Don't tell Remus," Teddy said quietly, still looking at the floor. "_Please_."

Teddy held his breath as he waited for Sirius to answer. _Please_, he thought, _please don't let me ruin everything_.

"Just talk to him," Sirius finally said and Teddy looked up hopefully. "Before Dumbledore figures out how to fix this and send you away. Before we forget about you. Right before we forget, if you like. Nothing will change that way. Just _talk _to him."

Teddy stared at Sirius and slowly let out the breath he had been holding. "You won't say anything?"

"Talk to him," Sirius repeated. "Because if you don't, I will." And with that he walked around Teddy and left the room.

* * *

><p>Over the next few days it turned out that Teddy did very little talking and he was not the only one. Sirius too was quieter than usual, falling back into his sullen wanderings. The days at Grimmauld Place now seemed to drag on indefinitely. Teddy was no longer comfortable sharing a room with both Sirius and his father and so spent much of the day alone in his room. He spent countless hours trying to figure out what exactly to say to Remus and was constantly at war with himself. On the one hand he was desperate to talk to his father as himself instead of some stranger but on the other hand he knew that doing so would be wrong and dangerous.<p>

But Sirius had been clear. Either Teddy said something or the other man would. And if Teddy knew one thing it was that he did not want Sirius leading that particular conversation.

Teddy had also decided that the safest time to speak with Remus would be right before he returned to his own time, right before everyone forgot he had ever been there. He tried not to think about the possibility that Dumbledore might not be able to send him back.

And so Teddy waited. He waited to talk to Remus. He waited for Dumbledore to arrive with the news he had been craving since his arrival. And while he waited part of him wished that Dumbledore would _not _arrive, that he might have one more day with Remus Lupin.

The evenings by the fireside continued as they had for all Teddy's time in the past but there was less conversation now. Mostly the three just sat in contemplative silence and Teddy was always the first to leave.

Just under a week since Teddy had let slip to Sirius that Remus Lupin was no longer alive in his time, Dumbledore returned with news on Teddy's predicament. It was late afternoon when the Headmaster arrived in the gloomy kitchen, at the time only occupied by Teddy, who was halfway through a sandwich. He looked up in shock, the sandwich in his hands falling back onto the plate.

"I see I have interrupted your meal," Dumbledore said as a greeting and Teddy swallowed the large bite of sandwich still in his mouth. "I trust Sirius and Remus are in?"

Teddy nodded, lost for words, and pushed his sandwich away. "I'll... I'll go get them," he said, still feeling dazed at the man's sudden appearance. After a few minutes of searching Teddy found both Remus and Sirius. The three of them returned to the kitchen where Teddy saw Dumbledore had placed two large glass vials on the table. One was full of a bright, golden liquid. The other was a dark gray substance that seemed to swirl despite being stationary on the table.

Teddy stepped closer to the table, his heartbeat quickening as he glanced between the vials and the Headmaster. Dumbledore was smiling slightly at Teddy and he felt hope surge up in him from his toes to chest.

"You did it?" He asked breathlessly. "You... can send me back?"

"That's wonderful," Remus said and smiled at Teddy. Teddy felt a pang of something unpleasant in his stomach.

Dumbledore nodded and began to explain. As he told Teddy, Sirius, and Remus, the sandy substance he had retrieved from Teddy's clothes upon his arrival had been brewed into a potion that would sufficiently reverse its temporal effects. The dosage was specific but would with all likelihood return Teddy to within a few hours of his original disappearance.

"There is precisely enough here to return you to your present time," Dumbledore reassured Teddy as he gestured to the vial with the golden liquid. "After you have gone the three of us will be drinking this one and it will be as though you were never here," he continued, now indicating the other, which Teddy now knew to be forgetfulness potion.

"That'll be an interesting conversation," Sirius said under his breath but Teddy was quite sure everyone heard it. Dumbledore's had something of a twinkle in his eye that suggested he was amused.

"Indeed," he said, "I believe I shall be quite surprised to find myself here in Grimmauld Place, but old age is a surprisingly useful explanation for any number of things."

Teddy continued to stare at the golden potion before him. This was it. _I'm going back,_ he thought. _I'm... I'm saying goodbye_. And with that thought Teddy was suddenly very aware of Sirius watching him. There was no more delaying it.

"It is time, Teddy," Dumbledore said quietly and Teddy glanced up at him. He refused to look behind him where he knew Sirius and Remus were standing. He felt frozen.

Dumbledore lifted the vial of shimmering golden liquid from the table and held it out for Teddy to take. His hand was halfway there to grasp it when Sirius spoke.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

Teddy still did not turn around. He stood very still as he felt everyone else in the kitchen look at him. Dumbledore was still holding the glimmering potion. He wanted to grab it and gulp it down before anyone could stop him but he could not leave without looking at his father one more time. Slowly Teddy turned away from Dumbledore and towards Remus.

Remus was looking at him with an innocently curious expression. _You have no idea who I am_, Teddy thought to himself. And as he thought this Teddy regretted everything he _hadn't_ said to the man in front of him when he had the chance. He had been given time to spend with the father he had never known and he had _squandered_ it. And so before anyone could stop him, before he could think about it any more, he said, "I'm your son."

In that moment Teddy was aware of only his father's face, how is expression slipped from vaguely curious to complete and utter shock. He watched as Remus unconsciously took a step away from him, his eyes wide and fearful. He could not hear anything except the whispered words that left his father's mouth.

"That's... not possible."

Teddy did not bother to correct him. "I couldn't leave without telling you. And I know you're not going to remember, but I will."

Teddy watched as Remus looked frantically towards Sirius then towards Dumbledore and then back at Teddy. He looked cornered. "That's not...," he started but trailed off.

"It's true, Remus," Sirius said quietly. "I think you and Teddy should talk. Professor?"

Teddy turned to Dumbledore, who had remained silent thus far.

"I believe a brief conversation will not harm anything. But you mustn't delay drinking your potion for too long, Mr. Lupin. It is measured quite precisely."

Teddy nodded and the Headmaster turned to Sirius. "Sirius, I wonder if you could show me that interesting family tree I've heard so much about?"

And with that Teddy watched as Sirius and Dumbledore left the kitchen. He stared at the empty doorway for a moment, unsure what to do now he was alone with Remus. Just one glance at the other man was enough for Teddy to know he was still in a state of shock.

"Should we sit?" he asked, waving vaguely at the table.

Remus nodded and as Teddy sat on the nearest bench Remus walked shakily around the table and took the seat across from him. Both Lupins stared at each other across the vast expanse of the kitchen table, Teddy with apprehension and Remus with a look of utter disbelief.

After a few moments like this Teddy awkwardly cleared his throat. "As much as I would love to continue sitting in awkward silence, we don't have all that much time."

Remus nodded. "You're my son," he said in a hoarse whisper. "How-how is that-I wouldn't-"

"I know you never exactly... planned on having children," Teddy said, cutting off Remus's nonsensical rambling. "But I really am your son."

"And you're not... not a..."

Teddy shook his head and smiled briefly. "I'm not a werewolf," he said as reassuringly as possible.

Remus covered his face with his hands and let out a sigh of relief. Teddy watched as he rested his elbows on the wooden table, his fingers brushing into his light brown hair that was already so smattered with gray.

"Do you hate me?" he heard Remus whisper and Teddy's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

In all of the shouting matches Teddy had had with Harry, all of the bitter things he had said about his parents abandoning him, all of the negative feelings, the resentment, Teddy never imagined that his father would ever ask such a question. No matter what Teddy thought about his parent's actions he had always believed them to have thought themselves doing the right thing.

"Why would I hate you?"

"Because of what I am," Remus said miserably, dragging his hands down away from his face. He looked haggard and pale. "I'm an outcast, you must be so ashamed of me, and your mother-" Remus stopped abruptly. He paled even further until his skin was almost snowy white.

"Who?" he asked desperately. "What have I-?"

Teddy was taken aback at how tortured his father sounded. He closed his eyes, concentrated, and a moment later his hair was its usual turquoise. He watched as Remus's face crumpled in utter despair.

"How could I do that to her?" he said hoarsely. Teddy instantly recalled all of the pictures of his parents he had relentlessly poured over his entire life. In every one of them together there was only happiness.

"She was happy," Teddy told him. "You both were."

Remus looked up at him with wide eyes and Teddy fidgeted in his seat. It seemed odd that in this situation it was the son comforting the father. He had not anticipated Remus to be so distraught at the news but found that he was not offended. It was not a selfish despair. And what was it Sirius had said? Remus Lupin was rather self-depreciating.

"We-we _were_ happy?" Remus asked and for a second Teddy did not understand him. And then he gasped. He had used the past tense.

"Well, you... you _died,_" he said quickly before he could stop himself. If they were going to have this conversation there would be nothing unsaid. But Remus seemed incapable of saying anything.

Teddy sighed and looked up at the ceiling. This was even harder than he had thought it would be. It was impossible to be angry with the man sitting across from him. Remus was looking at him, not saying anything, and so Teddy kept talking, started spilling everything that had been plaguing him.

"I was so mad," he started, his fingers picking at a burn mark in the table. "When I found out about what had happened, I was so mad at both of you for leaving me behind. You should have stayed with me. And Harry's always telling me how brave you both were, how you were heroes, how you _had _to go because you were fighting for something you believed in. And I didn't understand, I'm still not sure if I do. There _are _things worth dying for, but it's like you said before, there are things worth living for too. And I guess I thought maybe I wasn't enough for you to stay-"

Teddy stopped as his throat stuck together. He felt a prickling behind his eyes but blinked it away. He tried to swallow but it was difficult.

"This probably doesn't make any sense to you," he continued thickly, glancing up at Remus. He looked much calmer now.

"War is something I would never want you to _have_ to understand," his father said quietly. "I don't need to know what happens to know that I did whatever I did for _you_."

As Teddy looked his father in the eye he felt any remaining anger vanish. "I miss you," he said abruptly. "You and mum."

Remus smiled at him. "Someone once told me that the ones we love never really leave us," he said and Teddy laughed.

"Harry tells me that all the time."

"So you do know Harry then?" Remus asked. "He's still... he's all right, when you come from?"

Teddy nodded and relief washed over Remus's face. "He's my godfather," he said with a shrug. "He lives here now, though it's much nice in a decade or so."

"And you live...?"

"With my grandmother. Don't worry, I never want for company. There are too many Weasleys to count these days and I'm over at the Potters' all the time."

Remus smiled more widely than Teddy had ever seen in real life. The only time he had ever seen his father look that happy was in the photo taken just after Teddy was born. "And you're happy?"

Teddy ran a hand through his hair and nodded. "I miss you," he said again. "But I am happy."

"How touching," came a voice from the doorway and Teddy jumped in surprise. He turned quickly to see Sirius leaning on the door frame, his arms crossed against his chest and a smirk on his face. "Family reunion went well then?" he asked.

Teddy rolled his eyes. A moment later Dumbledore came up behind Sirius, a small smile on his face.

Remus stood and walked around to join Sirius and Dumbledore and Teddy sat, looking at the three of them and wondering when exactly he had become so accustomed to spending time with dead people.

"Any time now, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore said kindly and Teddy nodded and stood up. He grabbed the vial with the golden liquid in his right hand, the other in his left and handed the black potion to his father.

"At the same time?" he asked quietly and Remus nodded.

"At the same time," he agreed.

Teddy ran a hand through his hair again and looked at the three men standing in front of him. He half raised the vial and then stopped. With a few quick breaths to find his nerve Teddy stepped forward quickly and wrapped his arms around his father. After a moment Remus recovered from the surprise and wrapped his arms around Teddy in return. And for the first and last time in his life Teddy Lupin hugged his father.

With a shaky breath he let go and stepped away. He was dangerously close to crying and so looked up at the ceiling to compose himself.

"Thank you," he said, looking first at Dumbledore and Sirius and then finally at his father. "For everything."

"Bottoms up," Sirius said and clapped him on the shoulder.

Teddy raised the vial in a cheers to all three of them, clinked the top with the one in Remus's hand and brought the potion to his mouth. It was more than one swallow and with each his vision grew darker. He kept drinking until he had downed the entire thing and then he passed out.

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><p><strong>AN. Well here is the long anticipated chapter five. It was quite hard for me to write and I would love to know what you thought. I've always said this story would be five chapters and I hold to that. What I have not mentioned is that there will be a short epilogue as well. So we're not quite finished.<strong>


	6. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Teddy awoke to frantic voices and an uncomfortable pain in his side. He was lying on a hard stone floor and for a moment he was entirely disoriented.

"Teddy? Teddy, can you hear me?"

The voice was familiar, warm, concerned. Teddy groaned and opened his eyes. His vision was blurred for a moment and then the face above his own came into focus. Harry looked down at him with worried green eyes. "Teddy, are you all right?"

Quickly checking his various limbs for injury Teddy nodded and tried to sit up. He was instantly light-headed and his vision darkened around the edges. He groaned again and raised a hand to his head.

"Harry, we should get him upstairs, to bed," said another voice Teddy recognized and he turned to see Ginny standing nearby. She was shooing the three curious Potter children out of the room. Lily waved at him as the door to the kitchen was closing.

"Can you stand?" Harry asked. Teddy nodded and Harry offered him a hand to help him up. He winced as the pain in his side twinged upon rising. He rubbed at it absently and tried to make sense of his muddled thoughts. What was the last thing he could remember?

Harry placed a steadying hand on Teddy's shoulder and the two of them left and began to climb the stairs. Grimmauld Place was a simply _glowing_ with warmth and it smelled like freshly-baked bread. For a moment Teddy had an image of a much darker version of the house. As he and his godfather climbed the stairs Teddy had the strange urge to check the wall for house-elf heads.

When they reached Teddy's room Harry helped him onto the bed and the two of them sat side by side. Teddy looked around at the familiar surroundings. For some reason it felt strange to be somewhere so welcoming and bright.

"Teddy, what happened to you? You went up to the attic but when I went to find you, you were gone. We've been looking for you for hours."

"Hours?" Teddy mumbled and something in the back of his mind started bubbling sluggishly to the surface.

"I remember being in the attic," he said slowly, staring straight ahead and concentrating hard. "I found... I found my dad's old trunk. I was looking through it." Without thinking Teddy's hand moved to his pocket, which, curiously, had a crumpled piece of old parchment in it. He took it out, smoothed it on his leg, and recognized his Aunt Hermione's neat handwriting. But it was old, faded, and parts of it were missing.

_Professor Lupin,_

_I have - - - - - - - - - - - - -ofessor McGonagall but cannot- - - - - - - - - her - - - -office is locked. I need to return this- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -end of the day and I don't want to leave it lying around, so- - - - - - -you could deliver it- - - - - - - - - - - - -ought it would be safest here and I trust you to take care to- - - - - McGonagall at your earli- - - - - -_

_Than- - - - -_

_Hermione Granger_

Teddy felt the parchment slip through his limp fingers and it fell to the floor at his feet. In an instant everything from the past few weeks came rushing back to him. Awakening in the nightmarish Grimmauld Place, Sirius, the evening talks by the fire, seeing his father's face for the first time, hearing his voice, saying goodbye... That had just happened. Just minutes ago he had hugged his father and seen him for the last time.

And as everything that had happened came hurtling back it was suddenly too much. Teddy put his elbows onto his knees and buried his face in his hands. After a moment Harry placed a hand on his shoulder but he still did not look up. He could still hear how his father's voice had sounded, so calm and warm. His face was more real to Teddy than it had ever been before.

"Teddy?"

Finally Teddy lifted his head and turned to Harry with a tortured expression. He was met only with concern. Harry's hand was still resting on his shoulder and Teddy found it surprisingly comforting.

"I'm not quite sure _how_ exactly it happened," he started. "I think Dumbledore said something about a time turner, thought I'm still not clear on what exactly that _is_."

In an instant Harry's eyebrows flew up out of sight beneath his hair. Teddy winced the horrible start of his explanation. _How exactly do you tell someone you just traveled through time?_

"I'm sorry. I don't really know where to start with that. _Dumbledore? _A _time turner_? Teddy what the _hell_ are you talking about?"

Teddy sighed and lifted the fallen note from the ground. He handed it to Harry whose expression went from bewilderment to shock to understanding. "You found Hermione's time turner," he said, more as a statement than a question.

"More like what was left of it. It was just sand and broken glass. I got it all over me by accident. And then I woke up... eighteen years ago." He paused. "That sounds absolutely ridiculous."

"I've heard stranger stories," Harry muttered.

There was a brief silence between them and Teddy felt thankful that Harry was not questioning his story. He knew it sounded far-fetched but that did not change the fact that it had happened.

"Eighteen years," Harry murmured. "That was... my fifth year at Hogwarts. Did you-I mean-were you at Grimmauld Place?"

Teddy nodded. He hesitated only a moment before saying, "It was mostly empty except... well, I met Sirius."

Harry seemed to have no words for this. His eyes clouded over and for a moment it seemed he was not really seeing Teddy anymore but looking at something very far away. "He's... intense," Teddy added. "Or, he was. That's strange," he added, more to himself than to Harry. He had been living with dead people for the last few weeks.

"How long?" Harry shook his head as if to clear away some unpleasant thought. He seemed to drag his thoughts back to the present where the two now sat in Teddy's bedroom. "How long were you there?"

"A few weeks," Teddy said with a shrug. "Grimmauld Place has improved. It was pretty shocking seeing it that way, house-elf heads on the walls and hippogriffs in the spare bedroom."

Harry let out a brief, loud laugh at this. "I'd forgotten," he said quietly. "And did you get along with Sirius?"

Teddy opened his mouth, paused, and then said, "Mostly. We didn't agree on everything but... I'm really glad I got to meet him."

"Me too."

They had now reached the point in the conversation that Teddy was at once most eager and most uneasy to discuss. He did not quite know how to bring up such a delicate subject as his father when for Harry the two of them had been arguing about him mere hours before. Teddy had had time to reconcile his doubts and organize his thoughts and while he was still very confused about the whole business he was in a much better frame of mind than when he had first traveled back in time.

He thought that perhaps it would be best to start with an apology. "I'm so sorry, Harry," he said quietly and he very much meant it. "I know it's only been a few hours for you but I've had a lot of time to think over... what we've been fighting about and I feel awful."

"Teddy, you don't need to-"

"Yes, I do," he said forcefully. "There are things that I still don't quite understand but I think I really know now that my dad, both my parents, they died fighting for something they believed in. That whatever they did, they did for me."

Harry's expression was soft and he looked almost relieved at Teddy saying these things. "I'm so glad to hear you say that, Teddy. No one is perfect, but I wouldn't want you unhappy with Remus and Tonks because you thought that they were anything less than wonderful people. They were heroes." He smiled and raised an eyebrow. "What changed your mind?"

Teddy smiled and glanced at Harry out of the corner of his eye. "Well I had a chat with him."

Teddy could not help laughing at the gobsmacked expression on Harry's face. "He? You met Remus?" Teddy smiled and nodded.

"He didn't know who I was for most of my time there but we talked, briefly. Right before I left." He could picture his father sitting across the table from him so clearly. Teddy turned to look directly at Harry and said, "I got to meet my dad."

Just for a second something like jealously flitted across Harry's face but then it was gone. He smiled widely and clapped Teddy on the back. "That's wonderful," he said and then he furrowed his brow and looked at Teddy sternly. Or, as sternly as he ever regarded his godson, which was not very. "But nothing's changed, right? You didn't affect the time line without anyone knowing, did you?" He sounded as though he were not sure such a thing was even possible.

Teddy shook his head. "No, nothing's changed. When I left they drank a potion that made them forget all about me." The thought did not make him as sad as it had when he left. And he realized why.

"It's okay, though," Teddy said with a small smile. "I'll remember forever."

* * *

><p><strong>AN. Well, that's it, folks. I hope you all enjoyed the story at least half as much as I enjoyed writing it. I would love to hear your thoughts, few or many as they may be. Thanks for reading.<strong>


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